so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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