Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i out mim tonsoeep
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
