i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
