I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
