By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
