i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
