I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you had me at cake vodka
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
