dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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