i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
