no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
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I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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