I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
