Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's shark week go big or go home
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
