Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize