we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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