Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
