Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
