I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
