Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize