i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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