didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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