her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
