I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
