man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
