yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
being pregnant is like rehab
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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