Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
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You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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