I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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