Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
