This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
