I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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