Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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