so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
