I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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