I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
