2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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