fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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