He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
