Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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