WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
