i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
