Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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