ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize