so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
