Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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