So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
