THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
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Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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