IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
