Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
