That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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