Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
