i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
50% drunk capacity currently
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
