She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
