He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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