Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
