so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
