my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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