If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
