Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
