I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
