Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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