Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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